I realize how difficult it's going to be in this god-forsaken place where you can't find what you need, but there's the challenge.

My last post was on Monday last week and I haven't the faintest idea what's been happening since. Seriously, I know I worked my ass off for awhile but the specifics of it all are now lost to me. I guess most of it was boring to me and probably to everyone else involved. I'll have to ask next time I see anyone I just worked with. By way of explanation for this lapse in memory, all I can offer is that I've just come out of the forest. Literally. Yes, for the last few days I've been camping out in the Cleveland National Forest north east of San Diego. Camping and hiking and trying to kill a wild turkey, to no avail. I've seen things out there that made me very happy but I've also suffered some what at the hands of Mother Nature. A couple of gashes, severe dehydration, one night spent freezing because my tent is only a three season tent and apparently "spring" in SoCal isn't one of them, and I almost fell to my death after a misstep on a slippery rock overlooking a waterfall. It's funny how fast a ten yard slip while wearing full pack and carrying a shotgun is when compared to the time it takes to climb back up said ten yards when you're completely scared out of your mind and desperately trying not to slip again. I'm filthy, tired, and slightly depressed that so far this spring turkey season it's turkeys 3 and Captain 0. Good times!

On the plus side I had a hen so close to me I could have reached out and petted her if I'd been so inclined. I also caught a horned lizard as he tried to walk over my leg. I saw more humming birds up close and personal than I've ever seen in my life. I listened to songbirds greet the morning from the branches above my head. I've seen more mountain (the big guys) and valley (the slightly smaller but still sizeable guys) quail than I've seen in a long time. I hiked into areas that almost no one ever goes into and covered a shitload of miles and vertical feet. I even had a small herd of deer walk within ten yards and not even notice me. Yeah, I think my camo system is pretty fucking good and I also think I've become patient enough to just sit and let it all wash over me. Granted, one of these days I'm going to blast a turkey or a wild pig or a deer while communing with nature but hey, that's why I'm so quiet.

All in all I learned something: I am more of a woodsman than I thought and a lot tougher than most people know. I am also insanely fucking lucky I didn't fall off, through, or over any of the various dangerous things that came my way. 

I can't wait to do it again this weekend at Ft. Hunter-Liggett.

Here are some photos:

Peace out, bitches!

I'd rather be a cockroach on a baseboard up here than the Emperor of Mississippi.

I surfed two sessions today and that completely makes up for just about everything else in my life that ain't up to par. Perfect Cali long boarding day: sunny and hot, waist high peelers up and down the coast, and the water was crystal clear and 60°. The morning session waves weren't as good as the afternoon glass off but dammit if it weren't fun! I basically surfed the south side of the breakwater at El Porto by myself for two hours and enjoyed every single moment of the experience. If you aren't familiar with the breakwater at El Porto it's the spot with the crazy looking red and white smokestacks on the shoreline. Looks sketchy but it's consistently rated an A+ for water cleanliness. Nice, eh? Post-surf I walked the dog up and down the coast for a bit and then made the long, shirt-sticking-to-your-back drive to the deep valley to prep a camera. Good times. Production had called me on Sunday to let me know when to be at the camera house. Interesting, I've never had that happen before and it sort of foreshadowed the ineptitude of the production staff. They actually asked me what a remote camera control was, as if they'd never heard of one before. Not good, not good at all. We'll see what happens tomorrow. Anywhat, after waiting for a camera for two hours Kate v2.0 and I finally got through the camera package, despite the slowest prep tech in Hollywood gumming up the works. Dammit, that guy was slow.

Ghost and I drove off into the sunset and stopped just prior to hitting the water and surfed again. Well, I surfed and homeboy chilled out in the shade in the car. The waves were better and it was more crowded but I kind of rip these days so I basically out surfed everyone around me. Good times. Granted, the waves were only waist/chest high but at low tide they're kind of zippy at Porto and most of the people around me either had the wrong board or didn't know what they were doing. When it's like that, summer crowded, it's very satisfying to surf around and through a crowd of buffoons trying to get back onto their boards. Turn a 9' board on a dime so you don't hit someone? The look of terror in the eyes of the guy in front of you is hilarious. I am such a dick.

Anyway, off to make turkey tacos for dinner! Tomorrow it's off to surf for awhile and then I have an 11:30am call for a Target commercial. Yep, Target because when the economy is tanking and you just have to have that crappy plastic thing Target is there for you! Cheap stuff for sale! Stop at McDonald's on the way out! Drive a big SUV back to your soon to be repossessed house! America #1!

At least the check won't bounce.

Ha! Here's a really silly photo of me and Crille at work from Saturday. I think we look ridiculous.

Peace out, bitches!

I'm not going to waste my time arguing with a man who's lining up to be a hot lunch.

I am exhausted and quite ready to launch a revolution of some sort against, well, whatever you've got. A million days of work in a row and most of it was really, really silly. I got home at 1:30am after having watched five fights while shooting downtown, spent a million hours lighting a green screen rig, and then I spent the day riding a surfboard and doing laundry and hanging by a pool. Not too fucking bad. The last hour has been spent madly trying to get the Midget fed and to bed and then there's laundry to put away and Melah to get slightly drunk so she'll relax. What a lovely life.

Four more days of hell work to go starting at 9am tomorrow and then I hope to be tucked into the shade of a tree somewhere in Ft. Hunter Liggett, killing a turkey.

Peace out, bitches.

Then the entertainment industry really *is* out to get Spike Lee? Come on man! Even Cher's won an Oscar! Cher!

Anyone else notice that as soon as the economy went bad Goldman Sachs was bailed out by its ex-Prez? Anyone else notice that the economy was "sailing smoothly" until right before it was time for Bush et. al. to get the boot? Anyone, anyone? I like that it's all Obama's fault and there are now a bunch of dumpy racists and assorted imbeciles out "teabagging"? Do they know what that means? Another question, not that I have any answers, do they understand that none of them are going to be affected by Obama's "tax hike" as they're all poor working class jackasses just like me? They're doing the work of the British Empire not the patriots, if we're going to keep going with the tortured analogy of this whole thing. Whatever, I love that Glenn Beck and the rest of the Klan members at Fox News have staged their own little pity party. What a bunch of dicks. Oh, and fuck Obama's dog, who really cares if the dog is a rescue or a fucking gift from the last in a long line of rum runners. (Nah, just kidding. The Kennedys, great bunch of uptight white pricks. Love 'em!) Seriously, how many of the assholes on the right and nut job left who are complaining about the fucking dog have a rescue dog or have given money to the SPCA? I'm willing to bet none of them, none of 'em!

OK, I made really good meatballs and marinara tonight and now I'm going to enjoy a bottle of Toad Hollow Chardonnay with Melah. Y'all can show yerselves out.

Peace out, bitches!

Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn.

Working is increasingly a source of humor for me. After ten years (Ten?! God, I'm old.) I've seen the same personality types, if not the same people, make the same damn mistakes over and over again. It's funny now but it used to be frustrating, back when I gave a shit. I know I'm good, I care when I care, and if I don't care I still compete with myself enough to stay focused (Ha! 1st AC humor) but honestly, I can see it coming but because I'm "just" an AC I can't say anything. Oh sure, I can talk to some DPs and directors but most of the time you have to sit there and grin and bare it while watching the captain drive the boat into the iceberg. Today wasn't any different. We had the hot new digital camera d'jour and everyone in charge spent most of the day freaking out about the thing. So stupid. If you don't know how to use something don't start worrying about it if the guy you hired isn't worried. The problem with digital cameras is that every jack ass with a Mac or an iPhone thinks he/she knows something. You know, it's all digital so it all works the same, right? My answer is usually something along the lines of "Go. Fuck. Yourself." At least this one didn't go for a million hours, just an annoyingly complicated twelve. On a very small stage. Green screen and boring. Anyway, it's done and I'm home and Melah is watching "Gone With the Wind." Please God or Satan or whoever, strike my TV down now.

Peace out, bitches!

You Americans, you're all the same. Always overdressing for the wrong occasions.

So I did a commercial on Thursday and Friday and somehow the production company lost the tapes. Or at least, I think they lost the tapes as the dupe house is calling me. My name is apparently the only one on any internal paperwork as our original dupe house gave the job to one of its subsidiaries and the subs have no idea what anyone wants or who gets the tapes or who is going to pay the bills. Interesting, very interesting. I ducked and let the shit roll further downhill. I shall now be ignoring all unknown numbers and emails until my check shows up. Yep, that's the plan, ignore and evade until paid.

I am now a Red Cam pro. I spent all day learning how the damn thing works and getting it all dialed in for tomorrow. Yay. I learned how to use a really annoying camera. Yay. I'm really putting my college education to use. Yay.

I come up for air on Wednesday. If you still believe in God (ya sap!), pray for me.

Peace out, bitches!

I said, do you think they give a damn about their bills in Russia!

Ha! I don't owe Uncle Sam a dime! Ha ha! Take that institution of marriage!

What else? Oh yeah, the Midget and Melah are back in school so the mutt and I have the run of the house. Yes! Punk rock and spicy cooking are back in effect. 

Doc and I went and shot clays yesterday and goddamn that kid can shoot! He hasn't fired a weapon in at least three years and he was knocking 'em down at a pretty good clip. We drove out into the Mojave near Palmtucky (aka Palmdale, CA) and were stunned at the amount of development in the area. So sad. Sprawl, environmental degradation, and tons of foreclosures. Good thinking, people. Build a bunch of shoddy houses out in an arid desert and then screw everyone out of their jobs and wonder why the area is wilting.

Off to work on another annoying Red camera job and then Swedish DP is back in town and we do a two day commercial. Yay! Hopefully this won't be as much of a ball buster week as last week was. Easy money is just so much more fun.

Ha! I'm going to clean my shotguns on the living room table right the fuck now! No one can stop me!

Peace out, bitches!