Saturday, July 13, 2013

I mean, I've seen men stabbed, didn't mean shit to me. I've seen guns, guns too, they don't mean shit. But that's when you gotta watch yourself.

I  received a backhanded compliment at work this week,went to two funerals, and came home to find that the prick who murdered a black teenager was acquitted. You will, of course, forgive me when I say I've fucking had enough.

What's that quote? "Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans." Not particularly profound but popped into my head when my boss told me, "You're too good a focus puller for me to let you operate," which in English means I'm not getting promoted because I might take his job. One day. Or not. Either way I'm apparently not making any more money anytime soon with this guy. It's a good way to finish a job. I get to work with him again in a week. Not as the operator, of course, since I'm so good translating what he wants into actual action from the crew. It happens. You get good, you get pigeonholed, you say fuck you and burn the place down, dynamite the bridge, and move on to the next gig.

People die. People die every day, every minute, every second. Someone, some where died while I was typing this and while you were reading this. It just happens. It's the inevitable result of being born. If you're really lucky you live a long healthy life of relative happiness and success and you don't bury your children or your grandchildren. That was the first funeral and it was sad and beautiful and felt like the right conclusion to an awesome story, you know the kind that when it ends you feel full and content and sigh to yourself, "Well, of course it ended like that."

When you're not lucky and Life decides to kick your ass you die well before your time and your kids and their kids have to bury you and it's a damn miserable business. It's the kind of thing that makes you believe quite resolutely that every religious person you've ever met is a lying asshole and that if Gawd exists you'd like to kick it in the balls. That was the second funeral. There was crying, there was gnashing of teeth, there was wailing to the heavens and there was, of course, the funny little man in the white smock talking out of his ass about someone he barely knew. At least there were some good memories shared at the reception of a truly wonderful person who I was lucky to know.

Just to cement the whole suckage of it all Florida reassured white America that black lives are worthless. Progress is un-American, dontchaknow?

Fuck Florida.

Fuck a judicial system so blinded to its own prejudices and assumptions about class and race that out of six jurors and four alternates not one person was black. It's fucking ridiculous and it happens all the time and all of the centuries old assumptions about black cocks and sexual desires and the fecundity of black women and the inability of any black person to do anything positive are constantly at work against black defendants. Chips stacked and waiting against. Always.

I'm sick of this shit. I'm sick of chickenshit fucks running around with guns looking for people to push around. I'm sick of white people insisting that we live in a post-racial society while they simultaneously gush about dumb shit like gangster rap and say, "YOLO!" I'm sick of chronic underfunding of schools in economically depressed areas while the police department gets to arm itself to the teeth with weapons better suited for combat than "Protecting and Serving." I'm sick of it all.

Peace out, bitches!