God damn it, I should kill you! This is so fucking good I should kill you!

Anthony Bourdain is costing me money and I'm going to make that mother fucker pay what he owes.

Yep, every damn time I watch "No Reservations" I end up getting worked up about food and then I go out and spend a bunch of damn money and eat like a fucking champ. Nevermind I'm really just a working chump, making it by or not with whatever is on hand at the time. A good meal? Love 'em when I get 'em but I'll make do with a damn cheese sandwich if I have to do so. Or I'll go shoot one of the damn big ass resident geese that hang about every golf course 'round SoCal, it's all the same to me.

But that Bourdain bastard! Off to all corners with his little leather jacket and his fucking thumb ring and no matter how much he eats he's pencil thin. Fucker. I wish I were him, except that he sort of sucks as a fiction writer and he gets real spoiled real quick and he's old and weathered while I'm just old. Yeah, that Bourdain bastard has some gall running all over the place making me want to go eat. Last night he was in Prague eating sausage and all things good and porcine and drinking pint after pint of well crafted Czech beer and bam! It hits me that I should go get some sausage and a pint so that's what we did tonight.

The whole little trio of family that I now have went to the Red Lion Tavern over in Hipsterville (aka Silverlake). It was a bit of a haul and not at all Czech as it is, in fact, a German beer joint. Ah, that's a disservice as "beer joint" makes it sound like I took my kid and fiance to some sort of corporate bar like BJ's or some damn shit. No, The Red Lion is a true German beer place where you can sit and drink some pints with your friends and family and consume large quantities of German food. We went with the sausage sampler plate (three different kinds of meat in tube form!), potato pancakes, french fries, and pickled cabbage. The midget even got a little beef and veggie soup. It was a damn fine meal, everyone was stuffed, and I got to drink a nice Spaten with my girl.

Ok, so maybe that damn Bourdain ain't so bad after all but I tell you this: If I can get him to start paying for some of these culinary snap decisions I'll be a lot less likely to think of him as a damn bastard.

Peace out, bitches!