I used to think the answer to this aged question was crushing your enemies, seeing them flee before you, and hearing the lamentations of their women but these days, no so much.
I'm aging, you see. I recently turned 40. I bought a house. My wife is pregnant with kid number dos. I have an old car that doesn't run and I'm not sure I'll ever find the time and money to make it run.
Nowadays, I think the answer to the question is this: calling in ducks and watching your friends and family shoot them while your gun sits loaded and unfired in the blind, spending time cleaning the house with your wife and daughter and everyone is happy and getting it done, watching your daughter's face when you give her her first shotgun, getting to surf, working enough to afford to your castle and your provisions, having a shoulder to cry on, staying in shape long enough to watch the new kid grow up and go hunting, having all your hair at forty, fucking like a champ, having a grown-ass man's club house of your own, waking up and feeling lucky, not feeling like you're lost.
It's a bit of an eclectic list of "best in life" moments but that's what I've got today. I'm feeling frisky, melancholy, fat, and motivated all at once and I'm gearing up for a trip to Ikea. Whatever. I'll hunt ducks on Wednesday then we'll have Turkey day here and I'll go look for deer on Friday. Could be fun. Maybe the brothers will want to chase quail with me. Who knows.
I know what's best in life and it isn't what it used to be but it'll do.
Peace out, bitches!
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From Shel & Pops
Well done soldier. You've scaled the wall admirably.
In the tent of the Mongol King sits Mustafurious, the Simmerin' Warrior. He is in a state of restful alertness, as if waiting between verses. A soprano saxophone sits across his lap like a sword.
The Mongol King addresses his sons:
"The American Book Awards! We have won again! But what is best in life?"
A wispy-bearded man answers, clearly the playboy of the tribe.
"An open bar, fleet of limos, fans at your wrist, and the product in your hair."
The King exhibits his Tiger Mom style of parenting:
"Wrong! Mustafurious! What is best in life?"
"To crush all other writers, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their readers."
Ha! Moose, you are a Grade A jerk! I love you!
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