Friday. You ain't got no pheasant, you ain't got shit to do! I'ma get you drunk! I wish Smokey were here, he'd find us some shootable pheasant. Yeah, that's right, I've been reduced to wishing for the salvation of fictional drug-addled drug dealers from the 'hood. Damn.
So here we are, days into it and I've shot nothing. Sure, if I were the kind of guy who shot at hens I'd have limited out ages ago. Rabbits! Don't even talk to me about the fucking rabbits I could have shot! I'm now glad I didn't as Pops shot a cottontail today and it was, wait for it, FULL OF PARASITES! South Dakota fucking sucks dog's balls, and not in a funny Sarah Silverman kind of way. SD actually sucks dog's balls every morning right after it gets out of bed, brushes its teeth, and combs its hair. It walks out the door, whistling some damn prairie song, and gets into its car to go to work and positively reeks of dog's balls. Fuck this place.
In all seriousness, fuck this place. No, I kid, I kid. I'm sure these nice people, who's state bird is the pheasant, have tons of birds when the season opens. The only problem is that once the season starts they polish off the birds and then give them nowhere to live. If, and this is a HUGE "if," I ever come back here it will be at the start of the season and I will bitch slap everyone else around me so I get to my little piece of shootable territory and get my limit. Oh, how I pine for Oregon and the sweet folds of the sleepy little valley of Cow Hollow.
Cow Hollow! The name brings tears of joy and longing to my snowblind eyes. Cow Hollow, within which lies the famous Bambiland (wherein there is a hill upon which I was shot in the chest by an alces alces), and Quail Mountain (never answer your phone in the field MITM!), and Logan's Run. If I ever get out of this foul land I shall return to Cow Hollow penitent and humbled. I shall make a sacrifice in the Field on Fire. I shall dash myself upon the thistles of Quail Mountain and proclaim at the top of my lungs, "Oh pheasant, where art thou?!"
Peace out, bitches!
1 comment:
damn, that was even better than the lamentations of the wimem
nice photos, sir!
Post a Comment