I had a dream last night about a rather large and old tiger or tigress. I don't know how you tell the difference but I got the feeling it was a tigress. It's not really that important to the story as far as I can tell, I just thought I'd put it out there in case, well, you know. In case it did end up being important.
I'm in a bit of high desert rocky country looking for quail. I'm all alone, just me and Thumper versus the all mighty Gambel's quail and I'm hoping along some rocky drainage. It's not too hot and not too cold and the sun is high and there are a few clouds. Perfect quail hunting weather. After awhile I'm sitting propped up against some rocks watching a giant TV screen floating in the sky. There's a Vikings game on and the screen is insanely crisp and saturated and, most impressive of all, utterly giant and floating over the sage and rocks of an arroyo. As I'm sitting there, feet propped up and Thumper at my side, I realize there is a very large tiger (tigress?) hunkered down in some scrub brush ten yards off to my right. I see the orange and black stripes of its enormous shoulder as it slowly glides along on its belly towards the TV screen. I briefly wonder if it is watching and if it's a Vikings fan.
In the blink of an eye I'm on top of the tallest outcropping I can find and looking down at the tiger as it notices me and looks up. It has an excessive amount of long hair around its snout, almost like a beard, and what looks like a gouge in its lower lip. I will later be told it had a bought with mouth cancer. The tiger snaps upright and is three quarters of the way up my little perch without expending any visible energy. It is standing upright, hugging the rock, and looking at me with what I interpret as curiosity. With a flick of its tail it is up the rocks and a hairs breadth away from me.
Survival mode kicks in and I start spinning around looking for another tall rock to jump atop. I have Thumper with me but it never once occurs to me to shoot the tiger. We jump from rock to rock, my stomach starts to hurt with fear and exhaustion. Soon I am in a grove of trees that I know I've hunted from before, perhaps for dove a million years ago, and I'm running. I am running and breathing and I can hear the tiger padding along like a border collie guiding the lamb to slaughter. It's right next to me then a little in front and bearing into me so I have to go right then it's behind me and I'm trying to go faster. Forever. Then the grove ends and I'm next to a high school and next to that is another high school that was abandoned when they built the new high school.
I run for the abandoned high school and find a tool shed and duck into it just as the tiger flicks at my heel. The door closes as I crash into grass sod and shovels. Then the tiger is opening the door with its snout and I am behind the grass. As the tiger enters I exit and slam the door and wedge a shovel through the handles and shove a trash can in front of the whole thing. Off I go through the school and I realize as I'm running through familiar corridors and stairways that I'm running through Franklin High in Highland Park, my alma mater, and I wonder how long it has been abandoned.
I've found the Ranger station and just like that I'm back at the outskirts of the hunting grounds where I first saw the tiger and I'm explaining to them that they have a fucking tiger roaming around the arroyos and no wonder there are no goddamn rabbits around! The damn tiger is eating them! How must the poor quail be fairing I ask. I'm told of the tiger's mouth cancer, the miracle of its being here in Southern California, and how lucky I am that it didn't just jump me from behind and eat me. I feel bad for locking it in the tool shed and the Rangers tell me it's OK, just go home and next time hunt with a partner because the tiger will get too shy to attack if you're with someone.
I woke up and kissed my fiance after all of this and then I went to work. I'm anxious to get back to sleep and see if the tiger wants to chase me again.
Peace out, bitches!
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1 comment:
i left a comment! i must have hit close before it registered1
damn, and it was a good one, too!
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