My friend, can your heart stand the shocking facts of grave robbers from outer space?

Spring Turkey season starts on Saturday and I think my head is going to explode. For the last two months I've been watching and re-watching Primo's "Mastering the Art: Turkey" DVD. For the last two months I've been practicing my mouth calls whenever I'm in my car. For the last two months I've been practicing my friction calls (box and two different slates). For the last two months I've been practicing my locator calls (owl and crow). For the last two months I've been scouring the Internet for info, info, info on tactics and locations and every detail about the habitat and behavior of the Rio Grande subspecies of turkey. My brain is overflowing with information about the wild turkey and I think I'm going crazy. I just want to get out into the woods and see whats what and either fail miserably or bag a turkey. One will do but you can shoot three over the course of the season. It's the suspense that's killing me right now: Will I or won't I get a turkey? Have I actually learned anything with all of this suspect book learnin' or am I going to walk into the spring woods of Monterey and be made a fool of? Who knows? Who cares! I've got full camo, a good gun, and all the turkey gear I need, including a really hilarious decoy set. Stay tuned and we'll all see what happens between March 30th and April 1st. Melah and I are going up to Monterey next week for three days to sit in the woods and make a bunch of turkey noise that will hopefully culminate with a load blast from the FNG and some death flapping from a turkey. Goddammit I'm excited!

Peace out, bitches!

Late night update:

The LA City Council is possibly entertaining the idea of making it impossible to shoot commercials or music videos in LA... in the middle of a recession. Brilliant, fucking-A brilliant! We'll see, we'll see. In the meantime, chew on this courtesy of one K.Hayes et. al.:

Peace out, bitches... again!