Well, this'll sure get the job done if you can find a fence post to rest it on while you take aim.

At some point they must always call wrap and it is for this moment that all hands are primed and ready. Cases are out on the tailgate. Escape routes for camera and carts have been scouted, prepped, and jealously guarded. At the moment of the last shot and the call of "That's a wrap, boys!" previously immovable grips and electricians, bodies ossified into our camera cases and into the walls of the location, spring into action as if once again powered by twenty-something muscle and grit. Our department moves with a swiftness and purpose seen only in upper echelon military units and ant colonies. We are silent. We are serious. We are getting the fucking job done and we will not be stopped.

At the gates of every cavernous department truck there is a flurry of action and a cacophony of slurs, insults, mendacity, and orders. There are things to put away and they must all, no matter their size or weight or relative expense, be put right. the. fuck. back. where. you. found. them. bitch. To do otherwise will result in the misplacing and loss of said object which, in turn, will lead to delay. Delays on set for gear are unacceptable especially if the delay was self-inflicted through neglect and laziness. As the gates rise and fall and gear is stacked up and then loaded there is always at least one person making sure that every last bit of crap goes back into whatever little hole it always goes back into. In our department I am that person and I suffer no shit from my people. I do not ask of anyone what I haven't already done when once upon a time I had their job and I also do not ask them to do anything I wouldn't do. As such, when, on the rare occasion it happens, gear is lost I direct all calls from rental agents and irate production staffers to the imbecile what lost the gear in the first place. Technically, my 2nd AC is the one who should keep the gear in order, everything in its proper place and grouped according to function. When I need something I want it yesterday and the only way for that to happen is if the system is followed. Not too hard, right? You'd be surprised.

Farmer John just wrapped. We are missing nothing. We have successfully babysat half a million dollars worth of plastic, metal, and glass. We are good pirates and we are very good at our jobs. We have earned our beers.

Peace out, bitches!